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What has "the lid" on your life?

I did a simple exercise with my clients at the last Space to Create Day, organized for my Unfuck Your Business Club. We took a look at that one obstacle that pops up all the time when we’re trying to do something great.



Try reflecting on this yourself, right now. Think about the last time you came up with a groundbreaking idea. You probably envisioned it in all its brilliance, and then something popped into your head - a thought or emotion, maybe - and shut it down.


What was that?


Now, think about a much simpler action you were going to take. It could have been posting something on Facebook. Sending an e-mail. Having a conversation.


What stopped you?


As amazingly complex as humans are, we're also incredibly simple creatures at the core. Our wiring runs deep. Something stopping us in one area is likely stopping us in others.


I call these grand, core limiting beliefs the lid. This is the lid on the box that keeps us contained within the life we're living.


My lid is centers around getting it right. I knew going into this Space to Create Day that I was going to be doing this exercise with the group, so it was on my mind that morning.



I stopped off at Loblaws on the way to our get-together to grab some drinks and snacks, and as I pushed the cart around the store, one by one, I caught the "get it right" thoughts: Is anyone gluten-free? Should I get this brand, or will it make me look cheap? Is anyone allergic to nuts?!



The chatter in my head was going bananas but, since I know my lid well by now, I could just see it for what it was, and after a moment, it dissolved right there in the shopping aisle.


I had a long-held belief that there was a right way to do business, and I was sure I didn't know it. If I didn't know the right way, I was obviously going to do it wrong. And then, at its extreme, I'd be publicly humiliated, ostracized from society, deemed untrustworthy, and driven out of town by an angry mob.


Crazy, right? But if you've read this far, it's because you have some version of this lid on your life keeping you in that box.


So, what's yours?


I shared mine with my clients and many were so relieved to hear that I'm just as crazy as they are! And it was kind of weird telling them that my lid popped up while I was at Loblaws, and that I was worried they'd all hate me for getting the wrong snacks. Haha!


This opened up a space for my clients to examine their own lids on life.


I can't afford it came up more than once. "I can't afford the big or the little things," said one client. "It's always, always, always coming up for me."


Once she was able to really get down to acknowledging this, she made the decision to hire a part-time assistant, right then and there. Two days later, she was thrilled and relieved to have hired someone because she was now moving at a faster pace in her business.



Another client recognized that she often feels she can't have fun because she has to be responsible. (This is definitely one of mine, as well. We all have several, but there is usually one biggie that stands out from the rest.)


In that moment, she realized could take on a new project a friend had proposed that was fun AND responsible; collaborating with someone she really.likes and doing something new and creative as an extra revenue stream.


Another confessed that hers was I don't belong here, and that it was coming up for her in the group because she thought the other clients were so much further ahead and playing bigger.


But what do we do about our lids once we've identified them? Well, the identifying is a big part of the doing.


Identifying the lid starts to remove its power. Sharing it with others shatters it to bits by exposing just how ridiculous and inaccurate it is! Put this into practice, like a daily meditation, and you'll soon be looking at your lids in a completely new way; not necessarily has real hindrances, but as challenges to take on, headfirst.


So if you don't know your lid on life yet, just watch for it as you go throughout your day. It'll pop up at least a few dozen times!


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Copyright Laura-Jean Bernhardson. All right reserved.